I thought coming out would solve everything. My secret was out, the lies could stop, and I could finally move on with my life, the way I wanted.
But when the dust settled and the initial excitement of my coming out wore off, I was faced with a reality that I was not prepared for – I now had to be myself.
There was no going back to the comfort of my closet, no place to hide anymore.
Suddenly, a whole new wave of confusion encompassed me. I had spent years ignoring myself, my thoughts, my desires – and now that I had come out and declared my sexual identity, I was left scrambling to figure out the rest of the puzzle.
Posted in Depression, Emotional Health
Tagged binge drinking, Coming out, depression, Gay, gay depression, Happiness, homosexuality, how to, how to be happy, how to come out, i hate myself, i'm depressed, Mental Health, stop hating yourself
Happiness, as I’ve learned, is not a default state of mind. You have to work for
For years, I beat myself up for not being happy. I waited and waited…but happy never came, and that’s when I discovered what a selfish, ungrateful human being I was.
I didn’t deserve happiness, I thought, because I WANT to be happy instead of inherently BEING happy.
This wasn’t me feeling sorry for myself; I was genuinely perplexed as to why I couldn’t wake up each morning excited to take on the day.
Finally, I asked myself “Why am I sad?” instead of asking myself “When will I be happy?”